#52: Bijay Gautam On Being Really Vulnerable, Accepting A Broken Accent, Your Unique Success Template, Obsessing With Personal Growth and More!
About Bijay Gautam:
Bijay,is a podcasting mentor, co-founder of WYN Studio and Host of one of the top podcasts in India, The Inspiring TalkHe empowers coaches, trainers, speakers experts and entrepreneurs to build their influence, authority and business using the power of podcasting.
Resources mentioned:
Books:
Naked by Papa CJ
The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion
Blogs
Bijay's complete blog: Why Listening To News Sucks!
App's mentioned: Insight Timer,
The Inspiring Talk episodes mentioned: Davidji, Suren
His other podcast: Podcast unfiltered
Bijay Gautam: [00:00:00] ''I wish I could have had that conversation with my parents and took that one year from them. I think my life's trajectory would have been completely different.
[00:00:08] Puneeth Suraana: [00:00:08] Welcome to the Galata podcast.
[00:00:11] Bijay Gautam: [00:00:11] Thank you. thank so much for having me. I'm usually the one who is on the other side of the table,glad to be on the other side.
[00:00:18] Puneeth Suraana: [00:00:18] the usual first question I ask.
[00:00:22] Most of my guests is: . What were the conversations around dinner table when you were growing up?
[00:00:32] Bijay Gautam: [00:00:32] Wow. the can was eaten on the dinner table, that's that's a really interesting one. I don't think we able how to dinner table. I would say, we usually, it's the Seton float to have a dinner, but I think the conversation that I remember that I used to have with my mom for most of my childhood when we were growing up was.
[00:00:50] Because I saw my dad walking really, really hard was that way, you know what mom, whatever I do in my life, I'm not going to work for anyone else. I'm gonna, do whatever I want to do, but I'm going to do it on my own. And she used to love saying that, oh, that mean you want to start a business.
[00:01:08] I said, yes, that's what I want to do. for that we don't have money. and for you to start a business, you need. Money. I don't know where I had that a sense of belief that I had that, oh, what my mom's saying is not true.
[00:01:22] I don't have to be super rich to start a business. And here we are in this world where you literally, Don needed money to start a business. that's the one conversation that stands out from a lot of other, a conversation that we had.
[00:01:36] and if I now look back, a lot of conversations were about parents trying to give deal beliefs to me. for some half of my life, I believed the doors, the water, they like. just this one, right.
[00:01:54] For you to start a business, you need money. we can't dream big or, we have a certain limitation of whatever that is whether that's in terms of seeing bigger dreams or achieving something and on and forth. So, yep.
[00:02:13] yeah, absolutely.
[00:02:14]Puneeth Suraana: [00:02:14] Now seems the most turbulent time to start a business and the most opportune time to start a business for most people.
[00:02:23] Bijay Gautam: [00:02:23] Absolutely.
[00:02:24] Puneeth Suraana: [00:02:24] there's so many interesting things about you that I want to talk about. Let's let's start with, your obsession with self-help. what led you to self-help,
[00:02:36] Bijay Gautam: [00:02:36] I think it was the I need to help myself was what really got me there.
[00:02:42] Let me explain in 29, when I completed my 10, 10, I was looking at, getting into the university. I have in a grown up in. Nepal. And I was in Katmandu preparing for the university in trans. And at that time everybody said that,
[00:02:57] Biotechnology is super hot. And this is going to come up big time. He was opportunities. You should do that. and then, I that it will all sounds interesting. And then I went and studied for the preparation. I wanted to be at the carpenter university, which is one of the best universities in the country.
[00:03:14] And I sacked for that entrance and I couldn't make it.in my life academically, I haven't faced. Any failure to the extent that I, I just couldn't get to some place because I couldn't pass academically again. that failurehit me hard and I remember telling to myself that, even if I can't make it to the best university, I'm going to be best wherever I go.
[00:03:41] that's the first thing that I remember. And after that I came to Delhi for my, bachelor's I studied pharmacy and I remember going to my colleagues on the first day. and I was an average student. I had just 68% in my 12 and 11 combined and there with very smart kids with 90%, 85% in the 11, 12.
[00:04:03] And there I was in the classroom on the first day, just looking at the kids saying that, Hey, who's the smart one. Who's the smart one. Who's answering all the questions that this professor is asking.these are the people who are my competitors. And I, remember looking at all.
[00:04:17] You, oh, I'll tell you too. And oh, okay. These four people are going to be my competitors. and , uh, N no, you, So, and that's it, you need to be disciplined to study and motivate yourself to make sure that, you, can really top and all my life I have.
[00:04:35] Grown up believing that I'm an average student and I can never top. and I remember, when I was in school, going to these toppers saying that, how do you guys wouldn't do these? I can't even able imagine being . I was an average student all my life. I told them like, Hey I just can't even imagine how, how someone, I remember those conversations were thinking of these guys that offer different breed.
[00:05:00] I'm sure these guys are born talent and they are meant to top. And here I am, I don't think I can able to do that. Right. But when I came to the university, I said that, okay, I'm going to do this. I'm going to be based it, but I go, right. And that helps me. Today in whatever I do that that one thing stuck with me saying that, wherever I go, I'm going to be best.
[00:05:20] that's something that sticks with me. And that's when I started, finding blogs to help me develop the habits and, the whole. Science of goal setting. I started reading blogs and I think one of the early ones that I discovered was of Robin Sharma's blog. and there is this another guy called Steve Pablina , who is a very popular self-help blogger.
[00:05:43] I became, very I didn't follower of steep, publicized blog and Robin Sharma and Brian, Tracy, when it comes to goal settings and goal setting and stuff like that. I started, learning those concepts about setting goals mindset and
[00:05:57] I just go and read through those and try and implement them. And I wake up in the morning and go for a jog and, China understand the whole idea of morning ritual and that was my introduction to self-help. That's how I got into the whole world of self-help.
[00:06:13] And after that, I would see. if there's any opportunity for me to attend any, even 10 conferences and I would read the books blogs watch videos, whatever I could find eldest read in China implementing in my own life. that's a backstory to how I got into self-help.
[00:06:32] Puneeth Suraana: [00:06:32] We are like two peas in a pod. Interesting. You did this all in your undergrad studies, is that
[00:06:39] Bijay Gautam: [00:06:39] where it all started off the first year of my college, I think I did bits here and there in high school, but I think the, the hardcore focus of liking to just going deep into it is when I was in college.
[00:06:54] this whole thing started
[00:06:57] Puneeth Suraana: [00:06:57] introduce us to Steve Pavlina. I've never heard of this person.
[00:07:01]Bijay Gautam: [00:07:01] at one point I think he was also called the king of blogging when it comes to personal development. he used to write this really interesting blogs and get to this end of the guy.
[00:07:08] In fact, I think before Steve Pavlina, there was this guy from Singapore. now Gantry recall his name that was another guy, that I used to read a block from. And then later I discovered Steve Polina because that guy also was the follower of Steib public. We used to mention about Steve Polina in his blogs a guy from Singapore.
[00:07:27] I can't recall his blogging, a blog name or his name anymore, but Hm.
[00:07:35] Puneeth Suraana: [00:07:35] Interesting. I actually started my journey from Taryn. I'm happy you started it in blog.
[00:07:43] Bijay Gautam: [00:07:43] Yeah.
[00:07:44]Puneeth Suraana: [00:07:44] fascinating thing is. Why would I call it student decide to let go partying girls and drugs and alcohols and deli scene and immerse himself in a pic book or a voraciously long blog post. That's hard to digest.
[00:08:11]Bijay Gautam: [00:08:11] while I was in Delhi, but I had a complete different background and there was this interesting convergence. And now that you mentioned that I kind of remember these and I kind of took that as an offense at that time.
[00:08:23] while I did not respond, so here's the scenario. one of my seniors. who has grown up in Delhi. And she failed her exams and she was reappearing in the exam. And one of my friends from my class itself was reappearing the exam.
[00:08:42] Right. And I was just there to. Sure am I support just be there to help her or maybe just, help her prepare. before the exam and her model was there. And the CDO that I'm talking about, her , father was also there.
[00:08:57] And my classmate's mother introduces me to the seniors mother father study. and they apparently knew each other and she goes, Hey, he is a visit. And he's topple of my daughter's class. And he's from Nepal and this guy turns around and says that, Hey, this kid who come from Bihar, Parlor other part of the country to deli, they have got nothing to do, but just study.
[00:09:22] And that's why the top the college and they do academy. Well, and I think, there is a reason behind that. Why is because from a totally different upbringing and you have a a Hungle,when you grow up with silver spoon in your mouth, I'm not obviously saying everybody.
[00:09:38] Growing up with the syllabus also do not have that hunger, but we have seen a lot of people who come from not having enough in the life. Uh, I think the hungercomes from the fact that want to make something out of my life, want to make this life a different and that's how,you just see one thing, which isI wanna get myself out of the situation that I'm in and get my family out of the situation that I come from.
[00:10:03] whether that's imposing into self-help and trying and developing something that's why a lot of. Indians who are in us have the samehunger because, they want to prove themselves when they are in the U S and that's why
[00:10:15] We see a lot of Indians doing incredible things in the us or UK or wearable, outside India, because then that's where, you want get out of the situation that you are in and try and do everything that you can. To change that. So that was same for me.
[00:10:31] The first half of my call is it's in Delhi NCR, it's hurting Ana, I barely understood Hindi and there was no way I could understand her and V and I had no friends and I had no other good thing to do. I think, yup.
[00:10:50] Puneeth Suraana: [00:10:50] I remember my college professors, Don
[00:11:00] back plus he, he was a musician. he called it the pink Floyd songs line, which is if you want to get laid, go to college. If you want to get education, go to the library.
[00:11:14] Bijay Gautam: [00:11:14] Mm yeah, yeah.
[00:11:17] Puneeth Suraana: [00:11:17] Only thing I noticed is the hunger that you have, or the hunger that individuals in our situations have it easily gets into desperation mode, or it could get into this needy mode, which, which I see. People getting into right now especially with a lot of chaos that's happening around.how did you make sure you kept your hunger burning, but not getting into desperation or that neediness?
[00:11:48]Bijay Gautam: [00:11:48] things are not going to change overnight, right? While you might have the hunger. things are not going to change overnight. If anybody thinks that, Hey, I'm going to make this team today. I'm going to start meditating today.
[00:12:00] I'm going to be calm all of a sudden, then everything's going to change for me. Or if I, Start doing something today, I'll get results tomorrow. and it's more easier for us to think that today than ever before in the history of the time, because of the world of instant gratification that we live in, where I auto PJ and it has to be on my table in 30 minutes.
[00:12:23] what that's doing for all of us. Is it's draining our mind to believe in the concept of instant gratification, but that doesn't really happen in the life, right. For us to get something or make something meaningful.it's gonna take years and it's important to understand that, but at the same time, it's, also important for us to.
[00:12:46] Assess how we are progressing and are we moving in the direction that we've always wanted to, if not, then obviously, there need to be a course correction that we need to make. So understanding that I'm here for the long game and it's going to take me certain amount of time.
[00:13:01] and also knowing where you can go in certain number of years. Right? for instance, I'm not worried about let's say buying house, or maybe, buying a jet or, postal plane and stuff that. I have not worried at all about those because that's not what I see doing in another five or seven years.
[00:13:20] Right. then what is it that I can do in next five to seven years? And just. Focusing the entire energy in that I think that really helps to, keep doing what you are doing, having that long-term vision. that's one thing that helped.
[00:13:33] me and, but also, I wouldn't say, I was Naval in this thing about desperation. I have beenit's not fair to say that, for instance, when I was in college, I wanted to make some side bucks some, pocket money , uh, Yeah, we all do.
[00:13:47] Right. So, and because of that, I did some crazy stuff.I went on to these Serbia feeling websites went to a cyber cafe and. Feel that form and did all of that stuff. And then later realized like how these, you know, phone feeling Sobe. And so many of them are such a scam. I try to take shortcuts. And these shortcuts. Animal in the world. Right. But at least,these are these other things that you don't want to do. and and even when later in your life, when you have some short goods, which help, you're saying that, oh, you are going to get result, then you instantly know that, oh, there are no shortcuts to good things in life.
[00:14:23] So, I think these are the things that helped me not to be desperate, desperate.
[00:14:31]Puneeth Suraana: [00:14:31] it still hurts me that my $5.25. My first income has still not come. It's still in my PPM. What, nine years by filling the surveys and the there's this other thing called paper click or
[00:14:47] Bijay Gautam: [00:14:47] something?
[00:14:48] Yeah, PPC I mean, all sorts of things, all things, feeding the survey, they will send you the scan. Copy you fill the survey. I did that for an entire month. and then later on I realized they have this really, really weird agreement that you signed, which you never read, which says that if you make more than five mistakes, then you.
[00:15:06] Be out is going to be 80%. If you make more than 10 mistakes in entire month, then you'll pay out. It's going to be 60% more than 20 mistakes. Then it's going to be just 20% payment and so on and so forth. And then by the end of the month, when I completed that, I realized that I owe them money.
[00:15:25] Does it like you've made so many mistakes now you have to pay us we are not going to pay you anything. So they got the work done and ended up not paying anything. And it was like an entire month of work. And almost I spend what, two hours, every single day, I think 60, 60, 70 hours of work.
[00:15:41] and you get paid nothing. it was a lesson on its own that I enable, , uh, to , uh, stuff like those. And I this is not what. you should really be looking at, but we all have our own experiences all of these different sort of scams that are out there, so, Hmm.
[00:15:54]Puneeth Suraana: [00:15:54] I think college is the perfect time to get scammed.
[00:15:57] Bijay Gautam: [00:15:57] Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
[00:15:59] Yeah. I, I have started feeling that we, I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was like, Hey, I just, completed my biotechnology last year and I don't feel like doing it anymore. And I'm like, Well, you have wasted four years and whatever that is, but at least I'm glad that a lot of people are now being aware to the fact that they don't want to do what they studied and which I think it's a good thing because realizing sooner than later, because a lot of people realize that after 10 years of working in a corporate solve, and then they realize this is not what I want to do, and then sticks out of high.
[00:16:31] Right. Yeah, it's too late because you have maybe, family to take care of and a lot of loans going on. it's really difficult for you to get out of that thing rattly. Um, again I Don't agree with the rat race. I'll talk about that in a moment. Why? But the point that I was trying to make was like, an entrepreneurial who is doing a business and not happy and want to go back to job and just, shut your business down and go to a job, right.
[00:16:56] Or if you are somebody at a job and you don't want to take a job going do something in something different, or if you don't want a job in the field that you are in, try something just go and do something else. But my point was that. people realizing and being self-aware that, this is not what I want to do with my life.
[00:17:13] I mean, after wasting seven years, four years of college, and three years of working in a corporate is when I realized, this is not what I want to do, but people realizing that just right after the college, they just don't want to even join the job of take a job on what they studied is great.
[00:17:28] now coming to the rat-race thing. I really. Kind of done. Like when people say that job is a rat race, you are going on a, this nine to five rat race. it's all about happiness, man. if somebody's happy doing, going on a job and, making their life smooth, if their life suitor life is running smooth and not everybody needs to be an entrepreneur, not everybody needs.
[00:17:48] not everyone necessarily need to, follow anyone's success template and in what makes us happy, just do that. Right. I like what Rajiv Televisa, who is a friend and also business code says, oh, if you so strongly believe in entrepreneurship,then what you guys sincerely saying is the people who are working for you, your team are the dumb people who are,helping you achieve their dream.
[00:18:12] And these are stupid people who are working for you. That's what you are saying. Or you are saying that. Every single person in this world need to be an entrepreneur. If you so strongly believed that, nobody should be doing a job, then run your business on your own. Don't look for team.
[00:18:26] I think that's a really interesting one,
[00:18:28] Puneeth Suraana: [00:18:28] Yeah. I think entrepreneurship is also a rat race. it's a different strategies there are races everywhere, even in entrepreneurship. There's the funding rays. There is the reason of getting higher visibility.
[00:18:38] there's this phrase of customer acquisition, and now there's a podcast race of getting as many years as you can, that we see there are these races, no matter where you go and the way similar, and maybe entrepreneurship is a nine to nine race or in some cases, nine to two days, 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM race.
[00:18:57] these, races are they're everywhere.
[00:19:03]
[00:19:03] Just pick one that you think you will
[00:19:07] Bijay Gautam: [00:19:07] be good at. Yeah. And I think that's what I have learned by having conversation with so many different people I come to realize that there's no one template and you don't have to follow even the existing template of success.
[00:19:18] That's out there. You can create your own template and define what. That template will include. if you want to climb mountains, go into it and, just go and find another mountain and then the mountain, the mountain, right? If you want to, build a business and be ability, or just do that, or if you just want to be a spiritual leader and give up on all material things and, evolve spiritually and maybe help others evolve spiritually.
[00:19:43] Do that, but you have to define your success template and that should not be defined by society that should not be defined by you, family or parents. I know that in India, A lot of our decisions are controlled by the parents, but I think it's time for us to take ownership of our life and do what makes us happy.
[00:20:01] Not what someone else think about us.
[00:20:05] Puneeth Suraana: [00:20:05] I think it should not it, the moment where you took the ownership of your life for at least 10 years.
[00:20:11] Bijay Gautam: [00:20:11] where I come from if you really think about it a lot of people there are now keep the country.
[00:20:17] This is the conversation that I've started hitting, with a lot of youths here as well, a lot of people when they don't see a lot of opportunity in the country the easiest for them to say is that, Hey, There's nothing going to happen in my country.
[00:20:31] I'm going to leave the country and go outside. And I, I started seeing those kinds of conversations here as well, obviously, not as much as the volume, but, but still is there's a sense of frustration with the country and the system. And people want to escape that there are not enough opportunities.
[00:20:45] And even if you do something there's not enough cognition and so on and so forth. So people start seeing those and That obviously, happened in Nepal. And now if you really go and see the country, that's almost one person from every single household who is of road, every single household, I would say most of the country, half, half of the country is abroad.
[00:21:04] and if you really look at the people who are in the country, either they are kids or, a lot of elders. Right? every single youth wants most of them, 80 to 90% of them want to go to go to the us or Canada or Australia, wherever they findevery damn country, but not Nepal itself.
[00:21:23] Right. now when you grow up in that and the new parents. want you to, do the same as well. And for me, my uncle was in the U S doing his PSD and, working at Intel and that became the success template for us as well for my family as well, to look up and be like your uncle, go to the us.
[00:21:42] Do your masters take a job and then, get us out of this situation and that's going to be good for you. You are going to be settled in the U S and it was a good for us as well, because you are going to be sending in dollars. We can spend in rupee.that's what my parents wanted and that.
[00:21:57] Has been my own dream is, well when I was in college, I realized that was not my dream, but it was more of a, an acquire dream that I acquired from looking at what's going around and hearing my parents talk about and hearing my uncle give me advices and the same and when I was working at my job, I was preparing for masters in the us.
[00:22:20] and I had taken TOEFL, I had done good. I was preparing GRD and my parents knew for a fact that, oh, he has really good grades in his in his college. he can easily secure scholarship. Obviously there was no way that they could fund my study, but they knew that he can easily into security scholarship and go to the U S for the masters.
[00:22:40] And I would prepare for the GRE and then I would realize, Hey man, I already hit the job that I'm doing. And here I am preparing for another two years of study into something, which I already hate now, how does this even make sense? If I waste end of the two years in studying something that I don't like, which also means that I'm going to be.
[00:23:01] Wasting, the rest of my life doing this because I've already wasted seven years of my life into this. Now, when that realized, what happened then , uh, I kind of said I just don't want to go to the U S and studied there. And by that time, I also had an offer letter from a university in Germany and education in Germany is free.
[00:23:18] here I was saying that, Hey, I just don't want to study pharmacy anymore. And I think I want to give this podcasting thing a shot. And my parents went crazy. What the hell are you talking about? Are you gone mad? Are you out of your mind? what the hell is this thing?
[00:23:35] how are you ever going to make money out of it and all sort of things. And then I would just go back and start preparing for the GRE again. and then I'd do it for two days. And then again this whole idea of starting a podcast would pull me in, I would just try and research more about how to create podcasts, which might to gate and all of that.
[00:23:52] And I would get really, really excited. And then,they would remind me that, Hey, what are you doing? We have seen that for the past two days. you are not studying anything. And then I would come back and this went on.
[00:24:03] I kept shuffling from, GRE to podcasting for a while. And after that, then I realized,this is not helping me. I'm not able to focus on one thing.
[00:24:12] And obviously I had my job going on on the side, whatever time I had on the weekend. I kept juggling that for a few weeks. And then, you know, one day I just came back home and my dad was there and I told him that, Hey, I'm just not going to do this. I packed all my Gid material into a sack.
[00:24:31] and then, threw it in the kernel of the room and said that, okay, all I want is one year to see me one year to do what I love. And if I can make anything out of it, Well in good. If not, then I'm going to leave rest of my life in your tops. Just give me one year of my life. I was, it was , uh, easy competition, but it was not.
[00:24:51] and me and my dad, we ended up not talking to each other for two weeks. but the good thing that came out of that conversation isboth of my parents shut their mouth for a year. so that I, could completely, focus on one thing. And and within almost a year, I was full-time into the whole thing.
[00:25:09] I have heard, some other people as well, whom. I had Gunderson who hired the similar kind of conversation with the parents. one of the interviews that I have done recently for my podcast was of a YouTube vote. And she mentioned that she had the similar condition with her pet in saying that.
[00:25:25] Just give me one year, I'll link it. And then not
[00:25:27] Puneeth Suraana: [00:25:27] yet in the short
[00:25:28] Bijay Gautam: [00:25:28] description. it's a captain, Nick. She runs a YouTube channel by the name of captain Nick. She makes comedy skits and video. And she , uh, had the similar conversation where she said just give me one year, I'll try this thing.
[00:25:41] and then if it works out, it works out. If not, then I'll do whatever you guys want me to do. it'simportant for us to take that stand give that time. So if you really look at the different segments of people in the country today, right, there is a certain segment of the people who are.
[00:25:57] Okay. With their kids taking a break year, they are okay with the kids trying to figure things out. it's they are okay with letting their kids to see what they want to do, even if they want to drop out of college. And, there arepeople who come from the family, like our, we can't afford to do nothing for a year just to figure out because then you have to put food on the table.
[00:26:16] and it's difficult for your parents to understand that it's difficult for you to convince but also like if you really are sacrificing yourself, then down the line I'm certain, a lot of people do have this relicense saying that.
[00:26:30] I wish I could have had that conversation with my parents and took that one year from them. I think my life's trajectory would have been completely different. So I highly encourage everybody who's listening,to have a conversation, absolutely parents. and at the end of the day, our parents love us.
[00:26:45] Right. They want the best of us and the only thing that they're trying to impose on us is their fears because they have never ventured into unconditional part. And it's just the feel that they have. I think just understand that I knew that, my parents did love me.
[00:27:00] I knew that, they are going to be there to support me, but it just started, you wanted to have that conversation and not let them divert your focus from what you really want to do. I
[00:27:09] Puneeth Suraana: [00:27:09] think it's it's on 0.1 year, maybe two less, if you can, at least a thousand days listeners cause a thousand days really, really, really is required to get something off and running.
[00:27:23]Bijay Gautam: [00:27:23] I think one year is a fair amount of time for you to know that,how the party, how it's shaping up. Right. So I think, I
[00:27:31] Puneeth Suraana: [00:27:31] think your dad would not have been a tough negotiator because then it becomes a haggle. If you start a thousand days, please get two years or one year. I think you were lucky to get what you asked for though.
[00:27:45] You had to of course, battle it out with him in a conversation. Most people would come down to six months or three months and nothing happens in three
[00:27:53] Bijay Gautam: [00:27:53] or six months. Yeah. absolutely. So it was more than asking him. It was more of a telling him that, I'm not doing what you want.
[00:28:01] Yeah. I mean, yeah, it actually was that screw you, I'm taking one year just, you know, to, to leave my dreams because my life is mine, not yours. I know that you guys love me Pitino. Hey I just want to give this a shot. I just don't want to follow what I believed was the success template.
[00:28:19] what you guys are telling me, what is the success?I just want to create my own template, uh, and it was like, screw you, I'm doing this and I'm taking one year for myself. I think it worked.
[00:28:29]Puneeth Suraana: [00:28:29] there's a weird boldness and ignorance that a college kid has and if used wisely, it brings fantastic. Um, take that shot if you're listening.
[00:28:48] Bijay Gautam: [00:28:48] Yeah. But I was at my job, but I did not quit my job. And went full in and, saying that I'm going to do this, but I did it on the side of my job. Right. I had my full-time job to still put the food on the table.
[00:29:01] And while I was figuring things out,
[00:29:04] Puneeth Suraana: [00:29:04] then why was that such a big tussle? It sounds like a win-win for your parents and you.
[00:29:11] Bijay Gautam: [00:29:11] Because you can prepare for the universe and go to the U S in a year. And you are saying that, you just want to stay here on the job, which was not paying you really well.
[00:29:22] and if this thing doesn't work in a year, then where you are going to be is that you are still going to be withdrawing this really low salary instead of being in the U S right.
[00:29:32] Puneeth Suraana: [00:29:32] Why did you choose podcasting? I do know that you'd not have a budget for anything to do with video, but you could have picked up blogging. You could've picked up writing. Cause I, actually went through Instagram feed and I see this flare of writing that you had in the initial 20, 30 posts.
[00:29:47] Um, the writing is much more cheaper than podcasting.
[00:29:52] Bijay Gautam: [00:29:52] Yeah. when I was in college, when I was reading this blogs, right. I thought, oh it sounds interesting. I think I can be a blogger and I had written some articles, some posts, very sparingly, you know, two, three a year kind of a thing.
[00:30:06] I liked writing. but then I also realized I don't know how many people are even going to read a blog post down the line with the way media is coming up and stuff like that. Right. So honestly how podcasting came in, I'll tell you what was the initial and honest thought behind starting a podcast.
[00:30:23] When you read a few self-help books and feel blogs and when you know some concepts. we start thinking that, oh, now we know everything. And I think now I'm also a motivational inspirational speaker. I can inspire people, help them do whatever they want to do. I thought I'm going to be probably a motivational speaker where I just share all these different concepts and our trainer or a speaker.
[00:30:45] Right. that's something that I thought I, I want to be. now for me to learn how, what is the best way for me to learn all these different concepts from different people? Then I realized, having conversations with the people in the podcast, you are learning a lot every single week, you are learning a lot.
[00:30:59] So, you are going to have a ton of content. And the second thing is you are building the network by having conversations with people. the initial idea for me was to start a YouTube channel where I'll sit across the table with the guest whosoever. I want to interview wejust have conversations with them in front of camera and then post it at a YouTube video.
[00:31:18] And Exactly. As you said, I had no resources. And then I realized, oh, if you want to do a talk show, kind of a thing on a YouTube, then you need two cameras. you need a studio set up and all the other fancy stuff. then I realized, oh, man this looks really tough.
[00:31:35] Yeah. Which I still don't have. also at the same time I was doing a full-time job and it was logistically from the time perspective as well. I don't think, that is something that I could pull off.
[00:31:44] because of that, then I was searching then what could be the next thing that I can do if not this. Then I came across podcast. I think go, this sounds like an interesting one. I can sit on my pajama in my bedroom and just speak to a microphone connected to my laptop and I can connect with anyone in the world.
[00:32:03] Ah, this this sounds like a a good one. that's how Istarted, researching more about the podcast and the more and more I,read about it. And when I started, eventually I, started falling in love with this medium then the power that it have.
[00:32:16] And I thought, okay, this has to be eight. And this is something that I want to do a podcast. And I really, really enjoy the process of doing it and right from, finding people who have in convergence and preparing for that and putting the final product out. and most importantly ask, and I always say this,asking all the stupid, dumb questions that I have about the topic that I want to learn.
[00:32:39] Right. this is interesting thing Deepak Jayraman who hosts the podcast play to potential said on the conversation where he said, what I'm doing L and D and the meaning of L and D is usually learning and development, but he says, I'm doing learning and distribution where I'm learning, I'm developing myself, but also at the same time, I'm distributing it for someone else to probably, learn a thing or two from Michael positions that have.
[00:33:01] So that's what I wanted to do, which is just learn and distribute. And, if there are people who have the similar questions, for instance, I wanted to, understand basics of meditation. I wanted to, I have been meditating, on and off and stuff like that, but I wanted to learn about meditation then what is the best way for me to learn meditation is by going and having conversation with someone who had been doing it for decades.
[00:33:21] I use this app called insight timer to meditate. It has good. Tons and tons of free meditation, highly recommend everyone who wants to do meditation. absolutely.so, for the insight timer, I was meditating with this teacher on insight timer called David G. he's a guy based in the us who has worked with the, the likes of Deepak Chopra.
[00:33:41] In fact, he's the one who designed, I think we picked your products, this 21 or seven days, meditation kind of a challenge He was the original creator of that, we didn't Deepak Chopra. So I got David G to have conversation with me and talk about meditation.
[00:33:54] And we jammed for like an hour or so. I asked all of the questions, Hey, When I close my eyes, I feel sleepy. Is that okay? How do I know I'm doing it right? Is there a right way or wrong way and are all the questions that I had about meditation and boom, there you go.
[00:34:07] And it so happens that there are so many people who also have the similar question and they find it really interesting.And when I wanted to understand more about self-love, I'll find the people who can kind of guide me more on self-love. If I want to talk about entrepreneurship, I'll go and find the entrepreneur who can maybe share their journey or, share the tips and ideas.
[00:34:26] Right. So it's more of a me trying to find answers for myself.
[00:34:31] Puneeth Suraana: [00:34:31] Yeah. the fascinating thing between answers that this is a perfect way to quench our hunger week after
[00:34:39] Bijay Gautam: [00:34:39] week. Absolutely.
[00:34:41] Puneeth Suraana: [00:34:41] I'm curious, you've done a hundred plus episodes. What is it that you usually end up seeking? you have a team, right? Everybody has a team that they're centrally trying to seek while there are so many topics from a fire from meditation to self-love, to self-edit to business and startups.
[00:35:02] But what is it that you usually find yourself? Hmm. This is the common theme that I've been seeking in all these interactions.
[00:35:08]Bijay Gautam: [00:35:08] I think, it has evolved. A lot in the past four years. And you can't continue talking about the one thing on a podcast because your audience evolves with you as well.
[00:35:18] when I started, I used to talk about the simple concept. Let's say, how do you set your goal? How do you accomplish them and stuff like that. Right. I can't do that anymore because your audience evolves with you as well. And they are constantly looking for the new thing. So it's about going deeper and Depot down the rabbit hole, every single conversation, every single time I try and bring a new person, try and explore the topics that I haven't explored before.
[00:35:40] and push that boundary and make yourself uncomfortable. in talking about the topics that you just have no clue about sometimes happens that, I want to interview someone. I want to bring that inside with my audience, just bring the basics of it.
[00:35:53] And then it so happens that I just. I don't know a single thing about that topic and then, the whole process of going and, understanding that. I look at it in two major ways. one which is the primary reason why I started the show is just to bring the inspiring content.
[00:36:09] When I say inspiring content, this is inspiring through the journey of people. so when I bring someone and just let them share the journey a lot of people who listen to it can relate to it, that they feel like, oh, This guy had been through so much of ups, ups, and downs in his or her life, and still managed to become successful.
[00:36:27] And I think my problem, all of a sudden looks very, very small in front of this person's problem. But in sense, when you interview someone who has. survived cancer, not once, not twice, but thrice and still says that, I'm thriving now I'm doing this and that.
[00:36:42] And then if you are struggling with, let's say,financial problem that you feeloh my God, here is someone who almost lost her life. Not once, not twice, not thrice. And here I am thinking that,my financial problem was the biggest problem in the world. And then, you kind of get inspiration from those conversations.
[00:36:57] And a lot of people write back saying that episode really inspired me to do this and thatand stuff like that. So I thinkthat's one bit of it, which is I'm constantly looking at it. Inspiring people getting inspired myself. And the other piece of it is because I'm the student of self-help.
[00:37:14] I try and explore the topics around self-help where I am going, depo and trying to come up with a new concept, new things that I can try and what's happening. there are, so for instance, right now, like I'm fascinated with the whole idea about investment, right?
[00:37:28] Investing is a concept. And I haven't really, gotten myself into investing into stocks or mutual funds and stuff like that. Right. last year with the onset of lockdown, Igot curious about it. And now, as you said, right, hunger to learn is from who is expert in investment.
[00:37:45] Right? So now I'm looking for somebody who can kind of, come and break the entire. entire process of let's say investing, how should somebody look at, if the beginner, where do they begin and all that sort of information. Right. and then I want to share it with my audience.
[00:37:57] similarly, , uh, mental health is another thing that's now becoming a huge topic and that's something that I'm looking at bringing for my audience. So it's a balance of, I would say, educating and inspiring them.
[00:38:08] That's always the know balance that I'm trying to strike on my podcast by sometimes bringing the stories, which are just inspirational. For instance, I had this guywho is an IPS officer in IZEA in Bihar and he was the guy who executed some of the, really scary missense, uh, putting bihar's.
[00:38:28] Most dangerous criminal behind the bar. And andhe has written two best selling books. now when you bring people like that, then you find inspiration in the stories that they have to share. And whileyou pick the topics. So that's the kind of a balance that I try and strike.
[00:38:45] Hmm.
[00:38:46] Puneeth Suraana: [00:38:46] Mental health and finance. I think these are apt at the momentin the country.
[00:38:54] Inspiring stories does bring hope to people. I think now is when people need, hope the most to see through this, this uncertain, chaotic, confusing times.
[00:39:10]Bijay Gautam: [00:39:10] absolutely. One thing that, we should really not lose at this point of time is the hope, because in all this different conversations that I have had where I've asked people to share their story, if there's one thing that really helped them in the entire thing is just by keeping that fate and keeping that hope alive.
[00:39:33] just hoping that there's going to be end to the tunnel.there's a light in the side of the tunnel. the, the simple concept that, after the night day has to come. it's time that we just keep hope and not give up on our hope because that's the,biggest thing that we can hold on to.
[00:39:50] and it's easy to say that. Absolutely. But I think um, that's the one thing that really gonna help us move forward. Right. and we can obviously choose to be on that situation, or maybe just have hope and so that, Hey, I'm going to come out of this.
[00:40:05] I'm going to come out of this stronger. And also , um, did this interesting thing serene. Uh,
[00:40:15] when I, had conversation with him, he's he told us really interesting thing, like talking about his own darkest phase in his life. He said and I was going through one one challenge after Anodot and I had no clue why this is happening. And, and my mentor said me, something which really changed my perspective over the life.
[00:40:33] He says, universe is going to kick you out. But once and hoping that you'll get the lesson that it's trying to teach you whatever that lesson is. Right. And if you understand what that lesson is the first time around. Then, you are going to bounce back, right. if you don't understand it the first time around, and it's going to give you second hit, which is going to be more bigger and , uh, yeah.
[00:40:59] sting harder. Right. And if it Don still understand the lesson that the university is trying to teach you and share we do, then it's going to hit you the third time. that was a really interesting one where, and then, that changes.
[00:41:11] You'll mindset from saying that why has it happened to me too, then? thinking about it, what is the lesson that universe is trying to teach me? What is it that I need to understand from what has happened and get that listen, and probably move forward. I think that I resonate with those lines, that deal and try and ask myself what is the lesson that I, and oftentimes it, it, it comes down to the thing that you had in your control, which you decided not to take on a shipper responsibility in some forms.
[00:41:44] Puneeth Suraana: [00:41:44] If COVID was a kick in the butt from the universe silly question. What do you think your learning was?
[00:41:54] Bijay Gautam: [00:41:54] I mean a bunch of them. Yeah. A lot of them. Right. we are still in it. And if you really think about we all being inside and, on the grander scale, if it really think about it one thing obviously that stands out is the exploitation that we had of this planet, other right.
[00:42:09] The way we have exploited, the way we have Created a mess of this beautiful, beautiful planet is that now you go inside and now you sit inside, it you'll be behind the bars of your own home and feel what it feels like. Right. that's one and second for us probably is universities, maybe trying to show us a middle saying that, doesn't matter how technologically advanced or whatever you might create, and I think that's the middle that we all have in front of us saying that even with.
[00:42:41] Everything that we have smartest minds working on the lettuce steak and thinking about, futures and that, this is the tech from 2030 and stuff like that. we are not able to just manage all of our single, disease that thattaking the world by storm.
[00:42:58] Right. that probably is the second one that, COVID isteaching us. on the positive side of it, the lesson that I can take is we had been so. Selfish. and now if you really look at a lot of good things have happened where people ask, going out of the way to help each other, which would have never been the case if it was a regular normal situation, right?
[00:43:23] Because this thing happened now we are going out of our way and try and help. And the whole thing about the community aspect that we always had as a country, as a world, is coming back together where people are helping each other, trying to be of support , uh, in community. It has become a community.
[00:43:41] I think on the positive side that has happened, which is, a really good thing. And I hope that, this continues where we try and continue to support each other, even after this, Panda, we can have the same kind of Borned or, maybe the understanding, or maybe the mindset that we have right now about helping and serving others
[00:44:03] Puneeth Suraana: [00:44:03] hard though, because I feel it's, it's easy for even long-term enemies to bond because a bigger enemy is in front of them for a short while.
[00:44:18] And now that COVID is, become the enemy. Number one.People want to forget the differences, the past and bond for awhile.
[00:44:27] Bijay Gautam: [00:44:27] And also, I think it's important to understand, right? this is the time where we are not talking about any of those differences. We are not talking about the religious differences.
[00:44:35] We are not talking about the cost creed. We are not talking about any kind of differences in we're just focused on one thing and trying, and, beat that one thing. And. if that's something that doesn't matter right now and where none of us is really caring about, who's who and where the person comes from, and what's the background and stuff then it's for us to understand who is it, who really mixes again, focus on those things.
[00:45:02] And start raising the water against each other, based on those status and and stuff if it was something that we had it within us, then it would have shown even today as well. Right. But there's someone who is invoking that in us whether that's media, whether that's politicians and stuff like that, it's , uh, having that self awareness of, whoinvokes that in us and try and steal away from that.
[00:45:28] Maybe we can hit. Marker
[00:45:29] Puneeth Suraana: [00:45:29] The heartbreaking thing is those are control. The media control the mind, the people. And now I see every major media wheeling, the fear factor in everybody else. and that's where I find hope in podcasts, because these are real conversations India needs to listen, where there is Symbility there is politeness and that is thought going back and forth instead of conversations on the mainstream media, where you just have talking heads that don't let anybody else talk or even
[00:46:08] Bijay Gautam: [00:46:08] breathe.
[00:46:08] Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's horrible. and you mentioned about blogging all years. So when I was still in college, I think, third year I had written this, a short piece of blog where I said that, I pull it up if you can.
[00:46:23] I'm just trying to pull that up. So, so, there was this blog that I had written, Which is about the news. Right. listening to the news socks and his wife and I think I'm almost there scrolling down.
[00:46:36] Puneeth Suraana: [00:46:36] Somebody has been a writer for a while.
[00:46:38] Let me read out this bit. Avoid news. Yes, that's right. You might have heard that most of successful players and teams avoid news in any. From just before their match so that they can deliver their best performance. You might be thinking that I will miss many things if I avoid news, but you can't tell everything.
[00:46:59] Even after watching news, if anything important happens that you must know, you will get to know someone will definitely discuss in your school or office, or even may give you a call. People watching news love discussing news. So you will not be left behind in any way. Say as Bijaygot them, it is blog. While listening to news,
[00:47:27] it's been a decade since you've not. do you want into the mainstream media? My God, you're missed out on all the fun stuff.
[00:47:34] Bijay Gautam: [00:47:34] Nothing really, nothing really, as I said, right. as I'm talking to you right now, there's just a WhatsApp message popping on my phone, which is a news piece that is shared by someone on my WhatsApp.
[00:47:44] You don't have to go and search for the news. Right. And it comes to you we are constantly sharing and you are really in with social media. You are not missing anything. well, a lot of people talk about football and I think there's another concept I can't recall, but it's pleasure of missing out. I think you should be okay with the missing the information, which is not going to help you anyways.
[00:48:05] so yeah, that really, really helps because, we are talking about the hope in this time and what is the best thing that you can do for yourself right now is keeping your mental peace, keeping that balance and not letting that hope shake in you and stay strong.
[00:48:23] And news is definitely not the thing. That's helping you to stress don't in this time.
[00:48:27]Puneeth Suraana: [00:48:27] have you developed filters and hacks to get around? Because now I see news. Trickling down in a unusual way because The new media buttons are essentially Facebook, Twitter, and everywhere where you get your news from, which is usually like WhatsApp or Twitter or the feeds of all the platforms that are on.
[00:48:52] I think the same insights that were used in the DVL the print era, which was, if it bleeds, it leads as just trinkled down to all the other platforms that we use today.the clickbait and all of these, huh? It's the same situation we face an enormous magnitude.
[00:49:19]Bijay Gautam: [00:49:19] I think frequency.
[00:49:21] Absolutely. Absolutely. I totally agree. with the way people are trying to do, then I think the first thing that, we can do is customize our feed. What do we mean by customizing your feed? Did you have a control on what you want to see on your feed and the social media, how they are walking in there?
[00:49:37] They are the learning machines. They are learning based on what we are constantly watching and interested on and for a week, stop consuming any news on the eighth day, Facebook is not going to recommend you any news because they know that, you are not interested in that. if you are interested in anything else, something else, and they will start showing you that.
[00:49:56] Right. but the other thing is also when you make peace with the fact that. Even if I miss the news, I'm not missing anything in the world. I'm okay. And I'm happy missing things out which is not helping me. Then what you want to do is like, I said,I just have this best as dropped on my WhatsApp of a news.
[00:50:15] Am I going to open that? The answer to that is no, I am not because I know that's not going to help me. I don't even bother to see what that is about and also I think that is important for you to understand wear. Do you pay you attention? Right. So what do you pay attention to?
[00:50:29] And where energy flows it grows. Right? So, and it,is important for you to understand where you want to give your attention and energy to. So one is obviously you know, based on the, what kind of content you interact is how Facebook, shows you the feed.
[00:50:42] Right? My dad's Facebook feed. We'll have all these crazy news and news after news, after news rabbit hole and there is a news afternoon. when I see him browse his feet and I'm oh my God,there is the stuff like this, that's going on around the internet.
[00:50:57] It's the same internet that I'm on. And it's the same internet that he's on. And he's a world of reality is complete, really different than my world of reality. And when I, look at my sister, browsing her feed, it's totally different. Like, it's,about the fashion. It's about the w what's happening in the, style and so on and so forth.
[00:51:16] Right. And my mom's is different from my dad's and my world of reality is totally different. Right? the movie social dilemma shows it's very, very beautifully, how all of us have this totally different world of reality, that we are totally different world of reality that we are living in.
[00:51:35] I believe in something. And that something is been reinforced again and again, and again, and again, with the same feeds and posts. if you are,somebody who supports, let's say left or somebody who's supposed to writer's center, wherever you are leaning forward, then there is high chance that today you will be more and more and more.
[00:51:55] a stronger fan of whatever you support, why, because your feed is constantly going to show you. And it's never going to show you the other side, because that's the side that you chose not to consume content from, right. That's why we see the extreme a political alignment.
[00:52:09] A lot of people have whosoever are aligned to one segment. We see the divide and the big, huge difference there. Why is it? So because your Facebook feed, your Instagram feed or your Twitter feed is not showing what's happening on the other side, what's the other side's point of view, because you are so, much interested in just consuming one side of content.
[00:52:27] because you are constantly consuming just one side of content, just the way we see that, certain TV channels, just show us the one side of the story. That's exactly what Facebook is doing. They're just showing you because you interact and engage with the one side of story. They are constantly going to show you more and more and more of that story, and then you are going to believe, and that's going to kind of help you form your belief, right?
[00:52:50] if you are aware of that fact, then it can help you.
[00:52:53] But a lot of people, a lot of us are mindlesslybrowsing and scrolling. And we are not even aware that, my beliefs are being formed because of what I'm consuming. Yeah.
[00:53:03] Puneeth Suraana: [00:53:03] The debts crawl. That's what it's called now. Scrolling endlessly.
[00:53:09]
[00:53:09] Well, you have nothing to do. This is such a heart breaking thing of our culture.
[00:53:17] What is supposed to impart us is gauged us. Hm, for all the listeners, I think a short, short way to keep your sanity in this chaotic time is actually to tune out of the mainstream news.
[00:53:35] Any other hacks that you could share with Jay? Cause you've been out of the news cesspool for a decade now.
[00:53:42] Bijay Gautam: [00:53:42] Yeah. it's also about building those layers, other the things that can affect you or not. and this is something that I'm talking outside of the news, right?
[00:53:51] So if you really want to balance, and if you really want to keep that sanity and want to continue working on what you want to walk without being affected with what the world says about to what the people are talking about you and stuff like that, I have built a layer, which doesn't really get inside and really affect me.
[00:54:15] And it's that's a, that's a really a tough one. That's a really, really a difficult one for you to build one. Right. what really helps is by constantly reminding yourself of what you are trying to do andwhere you are headed is something that you really want.
[00:54:35] And the other thing is oftentimes when there are 10 people who are saying that you are going in the right direction, And then there's 11% who said that you really are bad. You were really going to fail, whatever. And then our focus naturally, isn't that one person who says that, oh,you are really bad, whatever that is.
[00:54:55] the natural focus is in that one person. And because of that one person, we forget to focus on those other 10. that's kind of saying that, oh, you are really helping them moving forward or whatever that is. And , um, just being able to ignore those repetitive negative comments and the stuff that, that comes your way.
[00:55:14] And just focusing on those positive ones really helps you focus on what you are really good at and continue doing and build on what you are really good at instead of. Diving too much into what you really can't even control.and also the understanding that when somebody spills hate on you, when somebody spills criticism on you, when somebody spills something to you just understanding that, who do you want to take that criticism from?
[00:55:43] Right? If the person who criticize you is the one who has the results that you want to get, it's highly unlikely that they will even want to criticize because they know how difficult is the part, the people who are usually criticizing other people who are maybe just sitting on their couch and just posting that comment, or maybe just, spreading that stuff.
[00:56:05] absolutely right. So the people who are big employers, they understand the amount of effort and time and energy. And how hard is it? That's what they are never going to criticize. I'm going to never criticize somebody who just creating a podcast and who just trying to put the content out because I know how hard is it to put it.
[00:56:21] Right. I know I have been through that journey, right. The same goes with other things as well. that's one where, you just know whose criticism to take in and who's not to, and the fundamental understanding that when somebody spills the hit out, it's usually not about you.
[00:56:37] It's about them. those are the people who need help because either, they are having a really bad day at work. Either they have some mental condition or some sort of issue that's going on in their life, which is reallybothering them. And the fact that you can't for.
[00:56:55] Uh, something that you don't have, right. You can pull kindness. If you Don tab, you pull what you have. And if all you have is a hit inside of you and that's what you are going to pour. But then the question is because someone pores that on you, how are you going to take it? Or I just going to filter that out.
[00:57:14]Puneeth Suraana: [00:57:14] Just step aside and let it just fall on the floor.
[00:57:19] Bijay Gautam: [00:57:19] absolutely. I know I'm loving this conversation.
[00:57:21] Puneeth Suraana: [00:57:21] I'm
[00:57:22] Bijay Gautam: [00:57:22] glad. It's amazing. So yeah,
[00:57:27] Puneeth Suraana: [00:57:27] we're talking about criticism. Hmm
[00:57:30] can you give an example if you're comfortable because you were criticized heavily in the initial days of your podcasting,truckloads of criticism how did you take that and where did you find a safe space where you could gather back your energy and come back stronger and a much more defined Bijay?
[00:57:52] Bijay Gautam: [00:57:52] I. Got criticized. And even today get criticized a lot. number one for the, for the weird accent that I have and I get criticized for my pronunciation at times and lack of ability to have conversation with people in the beginning.
[00:58:09] Um, this is one comment where I interviewed a guest and and she posts that interview. And this is oddly on, I think it was 50 or 70 episode of my show back in 2017. she posted that on her Facebook saying that, Hey, I was part of the inspiring talk podcast. listen to my conversation.
[00:58:26] somebody who she knew who was on her Facebook friends list commented saying that this interview was amazing. You had exceptional, but the host. He really sucked. he didn't even know how to have a conversation, how to do that , and there isn't a YouTuber.
[00:58:44] and this was again early on when I'd just had five, seven episodes of my show whom I met at an event and we became friends and Facebook and I used to post my, a clips of my podcast and Facebook. And he, he got so irritated with my accent that he sent me a message saying that, Hey bro, your accent looks so made up.
[00:59:06] Why don't you try and be yourself and not try and copy someone it's interrupting. It's still dating. I got that one as well.
[00:59:12] Puneeth Suraana: [00:59:12] you've saved. Some comments is what I know I do have.
[00:59:16] Bijay Gautam: [00:59:16] I do have. why I saved those comments is because I want to tell people who think that, oh, this is bad thing.
[00:59:23] It actually is not everybody goes through that, right? there are always going to be people who are going to appreciate you that are always going to be people who are going to criticize you. But it's for you to kind of have like these other things that people say about me, but still, I did not allow that to stop me and I continued doing it.
[00:59:38] that really helps you see that other people who are in, for a matter of fact, I keep both of those, right. I make an Evernote when somebody says really nice about me, I keep that on Evernote. And when somebody says really bad then I keep that as well.
[00:59:51] and when I really feel low, like, there has been so many instances where. I said that, I do this, is it even helping anyone? Is it even adding value to anyone's life? I'm putting a lot of time efforts and energy. and when I have those questions of self doubt, that's when I go to this Evernote where,I have all these good things.
[01:00:11] People say things like, oh, you know what? your podcast has helped me quit my job and do something else. or listeners said that I was having this really difficult phase in my relationship with my wife in our Maddie's and in our wedding.
[01:00:24] And it was not going the way it wasn't, we decided to separate. But the one thing that's keeping me sane in this tough time is listening to the conversations that you're having with the guests every single morning. And all of a sudden, my problem seems smaller. And when you have those kinds of messages, then that kind of makes you do what you are doing.
[01:00:45] even today I get a lot of criticism, right? criticism is a part of the game. when they hear you for the first time, they're constantly judging you. They're judging you based on your looks, they're judging you based on your accent.
[01:00:55] They are judging you. and the one thing that helped me, especially for the people who just meet for the first time is just the simple thing that I say is you you don't know my story yet. when that person said that, this guy really don't know how to make a conversation.
[01:01:11] That guy did not know that I really find it extremely, extremely difficult to have conversations. while I'm very comfortable. If you put me on the stairs, I can talk to one is 200. I can, uh, do that talk. And while a lot of people can't go on the stage because they are, they have a stays feel, but I never had that.
[01:01:28] I won't say I never had that, but I'm comfortable being at the stairs. but if you put me one-on-one and tell them, tell me that, Hey, there is no particular topic that you can talk with this person, just caddy conversation with this person. And I find it extremely, extremely difficult I run out of the things to say and that just,I just can't catch it, the composition.
[01:01:46] Right. But the person just doesn't know that the person also doesn't know that when I was starting to interview, I would just have. Then questions. I will read them out, get it there, prescriptive handwritten. They're pretty scripted. I'll just read those 10 questions. I'll get, answer and done. And now from that to just having a pointers and just getting the position, I have come a long, a long, long way, but I'm not saying I have reached
[01:02:12] I'm going to probably laugh at the hundred and 10th episode that I at least last week when I do 500 episode, but you can see my growth. I know my growth, I know how I'm progressing. I think understanding your own growth path, how you are, and making peace with that really helps you navigate to all these comments and negative comments and stuff like that.
[01:02:32] That comes your way, the big bats that you get. and also at the same time, just try and keep this, this Evernote thing that I'm talking about, right? you can do it as a screenshot on your phone, or as a folder on your computer, where you just keep all the good things that, people say about you and the work that you are doing and how you are making an impact.
[01:02:50]Puneeth Suraana: [01:02:50] I'm going to link a video of Bijay, which is probably one of his first YouTube videos, just so you can see the growth he has had. We are right now focusing on his accent and his energy and his speaking ability. it's marvelous, what three years and 110 episodes and maybe 200 interviews to make those 110 episodes happen have brought in.
[01:03:16]Bijay Gautam: [01:03:16] I have started releasing the season two of my podcast, the other show that I do called podcast on filtered. and last week we released another episode in one episode with the podcast, when that interview was done, I think a few months back, at least five, six months back, or maybe a year back.
[01:03:33] And when I was trying to pull that episode out and when I was listening to review it and I realized just in the one past a year, How many mistakes I used to make and now know how helmets I have improved. It's just in one past year. I think it's a constant progress that you do.
[01:03:49] And also the other thing that really helps you is which I am now trying to push my own boundaries is becoming as vulnerable as I canby sharing my own journey and story with people, to the extent that I can. that doesn't come naturally to us because, uh, we always feel the Jasmine saying that what if I say that, I have these flaws, but what that does is that bowel, when you are able to see that this is the flow that I have that with you on that floor.
[01:04:19] And also people are able to, would relate to that, for instance, two weeks back I made a post on LinkedIn where I said I almost stopped podcasting after releasing 11 episodes because I have a weird accent by pronunciation sucks. My grandma, let's not even talk about that. I struggled a lot with having conversation with my guests and so on and so forth.
[01:04:38] Right. So when I shared this on my LinkedIn there are 56 people who commented and there are, more than 200 people who liked that post. And the one thing that all of them said was, thank God you continue doing it. thank you so much for sharing this. This inspires me to, go ahead and do my own thing, even if it's not perfect.
[01:04:59] Right? So some of the comments that goes like this is very relatable and inspiring. And somebody says, your podcast with the first that I came and, and somebody even admitted saying that busy, when I listened to your podcast for the first time, I just do.I know somebody confessed on that post saying that, yes, I just do when I listened to your podcast.
[01:05:19] But when I,got to know more about your content, then I realized, that stopped bothering me anymore because I started enjoying the content. And somebody saidbecause of you doing the podcast with a broken accent inspired me to start a podcast, because I told to myself that if this guy with this broken accent can do a podcast, then I too can do.
[01:05:41] So by just to you taking accident and being political, you are giving power to other people as well and inspiring them.
[01:05:46] Puneeth Suraana: [01:05:46] yeah, I think by gathering the courage to be one livable, we free a lot of other people.
[01:05:55] Bijay Gautam: [01:05:55] Be yourself first, because then you have nothing to hide.
[01:05:57] You don't have to wear this mask. Right? So often have conversing with my influencers, friends who are either Instagram influencers or influencers on YouTube and stuff like that, they, talk to me often about how they have to wear this mask of happy, bubbly, successful person without any flaws on the internet, because that's the kind of person at that they have built online, but where you are vulnerable, when you share your authentic self, then you really don't have to worry about being someone else on the internet.
[01:06:28] And you just can be yourself. You just can be who you are and show your authentic, real self. And that's when people can relate with you. And People who can connect with that. the people who then follow you are your hardcore fans Right. so as I said, eight, when I want to learn about something that I get someone, I wanted to go deeper into vulnerability.
[01:06:47] And how do you share your story? I needed to find someone who is naked out there who have shared every thing out there about their life and who is vulnerable to the core. And that's when I got ''Papa CJ, who is a comedian who has written the book called naked, where he shares his life story to the level where, he shares everything about his life, including the biggest field that he have and the biggest insecurity that you have.
[01:07:15] And the biggest thing that's troubling him right now. Now, I asked him like, how do I be vulnerable then? and he suggested that start with what you are comfortable with. And it's, it is the muscle that you need to practice share one story. And then, you will get confidence because people are going to relate to it.
[01:07:32] People are going to support you and then share another story and then bigger, andjust keep pushing that limit whenever you are ready. There is no pressure to that. So I'm trying to do that on every single conversation that I have when I get opportunity to be on a show like yours, I try and, pull that one little of myself and just shut it right on hundred episode of my podcast, I really opened so many layers and runs where I was sharing, like, okay, okay guys, you have been hearing a lot of inspiring stories then here.
[01:08:03] Here's my story. And one of my guests volunteer to interview me on my show. And then I, shredded a lot of lists on that episode of my show and I continue to do that. So that really is a Powell that you can have, and it liberates you, you don't have to hide anything.
[01:08:17] You can be your authentic self, be who you are on the internet. And I think what a beautiful thing is that, that you can do for yourself.
[01:08:24] Puneeth Suraana: [01:08:24] I just thought I'd bring up a quote. I recently read it's from the book, the alabaster girl by Zan Perrion and here it is, here is a sublime secret of the ages, the secret of men whom women eternally love the entire book is about beauty and women.
[01:08:41] So they are father figures and little boys simultaneously. There you go. I've never heard anyone say that before, but I'm convinced it is true. Leadership. And weldability a lightening combination that is utterly impossible for women to resist. It is the greatest strength of these men, their triumph, the defining characteristic that sweeps all other men unceremoniously into a corner forever.
[01:09:14] Bijay Gautam: [01:09:14] Yeah. Yeah. That's really beautiful. And, one thing that we really tried doing it, my organization, the, WynStudio studio that we run when we got them together because we hired a lot of them during the COVID locked down. And in January we opened that office.
[01:09:29] and when we got everyone together, we wanted them to understand. Each other to the core. And we do one activity called lifeline where people have to create a entire line or chart. Let's say of everything that happened in their life till now, and just list them down, whether that's a happy moment, sad moment, bad moment.
[01:09:52] Good moment. And initially, when we begin that exercise, we don't tell them that you have to share it with anyone. We just tell them that this is only for yourself, for you on reflection of the kind of journey that you have had in your life. Just make a list of good things, bad thing, worst thing that has happened in your life.
[01:10:09] And then, everybody. right. The life story in terms of pointers, like this happened when I was eight years old, this happened when I was nine years or in 10 years old, I lost my grandfather when I was 12. maybe I was in love for the first time, maybe 18. I had my first girlfriend I failed in school And they write all the life story once they are done doing that then what we do is we ask them to share it with everyone else in the room. And now this is where a lot of people hesitate because you told them that this is going to be personal activity, but then they need to understand that this is a safe space.
[01:10:48] They need to understand that, what happens in this room is going to be in this room and you create that safe space. And I took the lead saying that, okay, I'm going to feel mindful first. when I should, my vulnerabilities, then everybody started opening up and the shared, end to end story all the fears that they have had, all the challenges that they have.
[01:11:12] TriMed and, some of them said that, even some of the closest people to meet. Don't even know these things that I just admitted today. And I was wondering if I want to share this with you all or not, but when I heard someone else talk about this, when I feel like this is a safe space, then I thought I'll just share this with you all.
[01:11:28] And after that, the bonding that the team shares today, because now they know the story of why the person is like that. If there's anything that, before the, just them. So, you have completely remove the judgment among each other. And I think, that has really, really helped us to understand each other.
[01:11:47] Why someone think that way, understand the fears that the boson operates from so that we can help them kind of straight those fears. I think that's, beautiful.
[01:11:58] We just tell them, just share what you're comfortable with. If there is any event that you don't want to share, or if you want to share a event, but you don't want to get into the details of that.
[01:12:08] That's totally fine. Because we realized some of them also came up with some of the issues from the past, which needed closer the chapters in their life, which needed closer and which are still something that's bothering us. and that's okay for you to not get into detail of that.
[01:12:21] That's totally fine. And it's not that we are pressing you thing that you have to share everything. It just, that shared what you are comfortable.
[01:12:28] Puneeth Suraana: [01:12:28] Beautiful. I'm so glad that we have gone from hope to vulnerability because I feel if you can be more vulnerable and comfortable while being vulnerable, you are spreading hope and do you know, there are these 36 questions that if you have somebody fall in love with them, Are you aware
[01:12:48] Bijay Gautam: [01:12:48] of that?
[01:12:49] Yeah. I have, those recently
[01:12:52] Puneeth Suraana: [01:12:52] are nothing bad and escalating, escalating, cause it's, it's, it's going deeper and deeper into the person. Nothing but just questions that are making a person more comfortable and vulnerable as the question.
[01:13:05] Bijay Gautam: [01:13:05] Yes. Yeah, yeah.
[01:13:07] Puneeth Suraana: [01:13:07] I know we got to wrap this up. I am so happy that we got to have this conversation. I believe it's been a worthwhile inspiring conversation. Thank you so much, Bijay for. Being on Galata and sharing so openly, comfortably and embracing vulnerability.
[01:13:30] Bijay Gautam: [01:13:30] Thank you,Puneeth. You been a great host and I think this is the longest conversation that I've had on a podcast and I'm glad that we did because a couple of things, I recall the few things that my, I kind of have lost from my memory and, when I was talking and all of a sudden it connected, but you, you are a great host and thank you for creating this space.
[01:13:50] Puneeth Suraana: [01:13:50] Thank you Bijay. for all the lovely words, boys and girls now go and make some Galata.